Stressed is not the word for my life right now. Stressed was August 2008, pre-wedding, dealing with family not RSVP-ing, and friends angry that my family was so large that inviting them-the friends-was not financially feasible. Stressed was Feb 2007 performing Hamlet at the Blackfriars for my MFA thesis. Stressed was Christmas 2006 with a boyfriend who my family hated, and an ex trying to win me back (he did). This level of anxiety has happened only once before (senior year of high school, CBT's Cinderella), and it gave me ulcers on my tonsils.
Yup, you heard me, ULCERS ON MY TONSILS. I knew I was getting nervous when I lost my appetite (again, you heard me, LOST IT, meaning I haven't been planning each meal as if it were my homecoming dance outfit freshman year). Yesterday I felt that decade old feeling. Pain when smiling. Ulcers on the tonsils. The combo of no appetite and pain when I open my mouth have helped me to put off the champagne jello mold, the White Russian cake, even the pre-packaged Chocolate Rum cake sitting next to the nutcrackers on the kitchen counter.....a shot of barenjager however...soothes the stress, tastes like honey on those inflamed and raw tonsils, and tricks me into thinking I have had dessert. done and done.
If you can't trick yourself into the spoon-full-of-sugar-daily-medicine of straight barenjager, here is a hot-toddy-esque version that could be convincingly medicinal....
1 part barenjager
1 part brandy
3 whole cloves
1 Tbsn of sugar
1 slice of lemon
1 Cinn stick
mix and fill glass with hot water
the curl up in a snuggy, get all emo, and wallow in anxiety until your fingers prune. xo
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
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